Seems to be a bit patchy that some dealers / countries seem to supply sachets swabs (in the wheel space in the boot). In the UK in my experience you buys your own. Incidentaly its not part of the service routine at least in my garage. Get it from GBR tech for best value.
I use lighter fluid (clean refined petrol) as a solvent and it works fine with no residue. I certainly would never use methylated spirits thats asking for trouble. The ethanol adulterants (pyridine etc.) could cause damage to the seals eventually.
Detergent and water is fine as well but as you say old wax hanging around from any over zealous polishing will come off fine with a little clean petrol. However to be fair the seals that really need to be supple tend to be on the inside and there is little chance of wax getting on these. The lubricant will also get through any residual wax anyway.